when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
