I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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