Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
