I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize