break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
