i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
