if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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