Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Terrible idea I love it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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