Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
