new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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