would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...