but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
