please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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