I heard we made out
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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