I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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