Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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