ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
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You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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