im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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