Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
