What a fucking waste of an outfit
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
