im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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