lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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