I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
