Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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