..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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