Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
