Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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