Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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