NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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