Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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