i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
