But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
