There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
