Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he shaved USA in his pubs
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
