ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
