Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
