Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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