Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize