If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
