Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
