I am spending my child support on dildos
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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