she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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