Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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