And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
