Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
