Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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