Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
