I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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