you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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