I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think i got beer on your cat.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
