I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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