I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
where does the pee come out of this thing
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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