you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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