Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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