i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
