There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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