I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
