It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
